PRAISE TO CELIBACY

And here it is, a man in his fifties, married for many years who decides today to write an article on the merits of being single.
What on earth is he doing to screw up all the good sense he thought he had accumulated in a family life all these years?
He saw around him and understood the ups and downs that certain situations imposed on individuals caught up in what we call the society.

A study and research is needed to better understand and appreciate the results of this work.
The first question that comes to mind is: Why do we get married and thus dispose of our single life?
A thousand answers will come to mind.
Among others: to do like dad and mom, we need to found a home and maintain life as it is, because isn’t this the ideal, if not the goal of our society?

Well, we are now going to try to demolish this principle because it may not be up to date anymore.
If there is a sharing of tasks in a so-called normal family, then the father works while the mother takes care of the household.
I said normal because today, the mother working, the sharing of the tasks is quite different.
We will come back to this new family. Let us be satisfied with the normal one.

For all intents and purposes, I take out the garbage and it doesn't bother me. Sometimes I even put the dishes in the machine to help and avoid filling the sink. This not my point. I'm not manual, more of a pencil pusher and reader and that makes my wife mad.
She is the contractor in the house. She does everything and even does it well. But I don't feel like it.

Which is to say, why don't they let me do what I want to do and I shouldn't do what others want me to do.
Simple, isn't it?

I've met three people lately, all women
One in her forties, one in her fifties and one in her sixties. The first two were single in spite of themselves, the last one a widow.
The first one was unlucky, she who would have liked to get married, have children and start a family. She has a good job but it's not enough. She has a hard time dealing with this situation which makes her bitter and sad.

The second one, a bit like the first one, but she has developed an emotional relationship with her immediate family, sisters-in-law, nieces, etc., that fills her life. She is so happy that she forgets that she is single. She receives Mother's Day cards from her little nieces, which makes her happy.

The third seems to have taken well the departure of her husband of several years but is shocked by the behavior of men because they seek only the trifle. These are her own words. So she doesn't look for companions and gets away with it, preferring pleasant trips even if she is alone.

What would I have done in their place.
One fact is that I don't like solitude and I can't imagine living alone, so maybe that's why all these years, even though sometimes I was proud, I preferred the status quo rather than turning things around.
Today, it seems that I see it differently.
Why deprive ourselves of something we enjoy?
We have a life to live and we don't live it the way we want. Who should we blame but ourselves?
And that's what this paper is all about.

I will say to these three ladies: "But come on, you are free, you don't have to answer to anyone. You are free to do as you please. If this man did not want you, there are others. You can choose who you want when you want. You are certainly used to solitude, it has become your companion and your accomplice. You like to be alone. It is up to you to do what you like without feeling restricted by any obligation.

I say this and think of myself.
> God, I wish I had this freedom of action. I admit that I have it to a certain extent, because I travel a lot and unlike the average person, I have a good life even outside of my home, but it seems that it is not enough. We always want more.Maybe I should make a list of all the nice things I feel deprived of and see if once I'm free, I can update them.One thing is certain, no more unpleasant chores that frustrate me but that I must respect.

At this very moment, I'm thinking of making a decision and I wonder if I'm able to go through with my idea.I'm leaving in a week for a week-long business trip abroad. Why don't I stay another week and then feel free to do what I want to do? Will I face the possibility of a contrary opinion. Should I get angry? If I were single, I wouldn't have this problem. I'm exaggerating a bit, but I use this example to show that a simple incident can be sobering.

Having never lived alone, I don't know how to cook. I'll have to start with TV dinners, which I'm not crazy about, and restaurants, in the long run, will also be imperfect. Maybe I will find a sister who will cook for me, but then again, why would I associate with anyone if I prefer my freedom.

Oh, the big word is out of the bag.
Everyone talks about this famous freedom, the meaning of which I believe has changed so much that it is not the same for everyone. My freedom is not the other's and vice versa.
A famous word of Jean Paul Sartre comes back to my mind:
The individual is continually 'in situation', that is to say, placed in material conditions which make that his freedom determines the incessant obligation of a choice, which is never completely justifiable. And here we are: choice is associated with freedom.

But I confess that I would have preferred to be like Zorba the Greek and say: "I fear nothing, I hope for nothing, I am free". A certain poet once said that "freedom is not given, it is taken" and that is definitely what each of us must do, take it. However, it remains clear that the current definition of the word freedom is the right to do what is allowed

Lecteur, si tu as un commentaire, une idée, une suggestion, s'il te plait communique la moi à Jacques@SagesseOuEsTu.com